How Are Depression and Sex Drive Connected?

Issues with sex drive can occur no matter if you or your partner has depression.

Depression casts a wide net over a substantial portion of the United States population, emerging as one of the most pervasive disorders in the country, as cited by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

Navigating the terrain of depression presents multifaceted challenges. Beyond the oscillation of moods, individuals grappling with this condition often encounter disruptions in weight management, memory function, and sleep patterns. Amidst these struggles, the intricate interplay of depression can cast its shadow over various aspects of life, including sexual experiences, which for some can become an additional challenge to navigate.

How Does Depression Affect a Person’s Sex Drive?

Depression’s impact extends beyond mere shifts in mood. As elucidated by Christine Manley, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Nashville, depression often leaves a telltale mark on self-esteem. “Chronic and pervasive feelings of worthlessness constitute the fundamental diagnostic criteria of depression,” she highlighted in a conversation with Health. This foundation of despondency lays the groundwork for compromised self-esteem, subsequently influencing various domains of life, including one’s sexual experiences.

The implications of depression echo within the bedroom, encompassing not only its direct effects but also a cascade of associated consequences that ripple through one’s libido, as outlined by Michael Salas, PsyD, a sex therapist based in Dallas. “Depression has the capacity to dampen interest in formerly pleasurable aspects of life, amplify irritability and pessimism, and engender low energy and fatigue,” Salas elaborated. “These factors collectively contribute to a waning of interest, or even avoidance, within the context of sexuality.”

Moreover, fatigue emerges as a primary symptom nearly universally linked to depression, noted Manley. The perpetual sense of exhaustion that plagues those grappling with depression undermines the inclination for sexual activity, particularly as the day draws to a close.

How Do Antidepressants Play a Role?

Individuals diagnosed with depression typically undergo a treatment regimen that often involves a combination of talk therapy and antidepressants, although each treatment can also be administered independently, as outlined by MedlinePlus. For those opting for medication to manage depression, a common prescription involves selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), as indicated by the National Library of Medicine (NLM). SSRIs work by enhancing the availability of serotonin in the body.

Nonetheless, SSRIs are associated with a commonly reported side effect that can significantly impact sexual well-being, according to Christine Manley. “These gold standard antidepressants—such as Zoloft [sertraline], Prozac [fluoxetine], Paxil [paroxetine], and Celexa [citalopram]—fall under the category of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, and extensive research indicates that they can substantially diminish your libido,” Manley emphasized.

The specific side effects attributed to SSRIs encompass issues like delays in ejaculation or achieving orgasms, diminished sexual desire, and reduced sexual satisfaction, as outlined by a review published in The Mental Health Clinician in June 2016.

While other classes of antidepressants, such as Wellbutrin (bupropion), exist, they may occasionally lead to heightened anxiety or irritability, cautioned Manley. Consequently, it becomes pivotal to engage in a dialogue with your medical professional regarding potential side effects. Questions to consider include how the medication could affect your sex drive, whether it might impact arousal or lubrication, and the potential need to experiment with different options before finding the most suitable one.

Furthermore, it’s worth acknowledging that the optimal antidepressant for an individual might have some level of influence on their sexual life. In this context, collaborating with a healthcare provider becomes essential to determine the most fitting treatment path for both the individual and their partner.

How To Work Through the Depression

Overcoming the inertia of depression poses a formidable challenge, affecting not only your intimate life but various dimensions of daily existence. However, even without medication, there are strategies that can yield a positive impact on intimacy.

Exploring new forms of exercise emerges as a proactive step. “Experimenting with diverse exercise routines can be highly beneficial,” suggests Manley. “Reconnecting with one’s body is paramount, and this can set the wheels in motion.”

For those apprehensive about conventional gym workouts, activities that induce a degree of perspiration without necessitating specialized equipment or gym memberships can be pursued: dancing, walking, or playful interactions with your children at a playground.

Promoting non-sexual physical contact both within and beyond the bedroom can also contribute to intimacy. According to Salas, initiating actions like touching, kissing, cuddling, and fondling can reignite connections with your partner. “By doing so, you create an environment where the focus shifts away from adhering to traditional sexual responses, enabling the enjoyment of the experience itself. This allows the body and emotions to naturally respond to pleasurable sensations.” While these interactions may evolve into sexual experiences, the element of performance pressure is eliminated.

Engaging in open conversations about your emotions is another avenue to explore. Manley elucidates that the root issue often pertains to intimacy rather than sex. Partners may struggle to establish a connection or the existing bond might be significantly influenced by depression. Actively fostering reconnection can involve revisiting initial feelings upon meeting or recounting times of profound connection. For individuals who grapple with the vulnerability required for such interaction, it follows that sexual intimacy might suffer as a result. By addressing this fundamental aspect, the path to rebuilding a fulfilling intimate life becomes more attainable.

What If Your Partner Is the One Who Has Depression?

Even when you’re not the one grappling with depression, its impact on your sex life can be profound—and addressing the issue can feel particularly challenging. In such situations, approaching the topic with sensitivity is crucial. Recognize that individuals experiencing depression might harbor feelings of shame, thus exhibiting genuine curiosity can serve as a catalyst for them to acknowledge depression as a concern, as suggested by Salas.

It’s imperative to convey that their overall well-being holds greater significance than any sexual satisfaction. Prioritizing their quality of life over personal gratification reinforces your empathy and understanding. However, if you find yourself at a juncture where your partner’s unwillingness to discuss their depression and its toll on your sexual relationship becomes overwhelming, seeking the assistance of a couples therapist might be beneficial.

Being forthright about your need for change to sustain the relationship is paramount, according to Salas. While the inclination to approach these subjects delicately is understandable, clarity about your needs and the impact on your bond becomes essential. Engaging in open communication can encompass asserting your perspective on how the relationship dynamics have been affected, emphasizing that an open dialogue and mutual efforts are necessary for a healthier, more fulfilling connection.