5 Ways to Decrease Social Anxiety at a Party

It’s true that excessive worry about what others think of your appearance and constantly seeking validation from peers can be signs of social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder is a common mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations and a persistent concern of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated.

Individuals with social anxiety disorder may experience physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, and difficulty speaking in social situations. They often avoid social interactions or endure them with significant distress.

What Does Social Anxiety Entail?

Dr. Gail Saltz provides valuable insights into social anxiety, highlighting its common occurrence and the range of situations that can trigger anxiety in individuals. The fear of negative judgment or evaluation by others is a central aspect of social anxiety, leading to thoughts and beliefs that contribute to heightened anxiety. The physiological symptoms, such as palpitations, sweating, and dry mouth, further underscore the impact of social anxiety on the body.

Social anxiety disorder can have a significant impact on a person’s daily life, affecting work, school, and relationships. It’s important to recognize the severity of symptoms and the potential interference with daily functioning.

Treatment options for social anxiety disorder include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which can be effective on its own or in combination with medication. Support groups, social skills training, and exposure therapy are additional treatment approaches that can provide valuable support to individuals with social anxiety disorder. Exposure therapy gradually exposes individuals to feared social situations, helping them build resilience and develop coping mechanisms.

What Can Help With Party-Related Social Anxiety?

If you experience social anxiety that tends to intensify before social events or gatherings, there are several strategies you can try to help manage and reduce your anxiety levels. Here are five tips to help dial back your social anxiety:

1. Resist the Urge to Cancel

While it may be tempting to come up with excuses and cancel plans due to social anxiety, avoiding social events can actually worsen your symptoms. Dr. Saltz explains that the temporary relief you may feel from avoiding a social situation reinforces your avoidance behavior, making your world progressively smaller and intensifying your symptoms.

Instead of giving in to the urge to retract your RSVP, Dr. Saltz advises pushing yourself to attend the event. Over time, the more social situations you expose yourself to, the more comfortable you are likely to become. One effective strategy is to invite a supportive friend to accompany you. Having a friend by your side can provide a sense of security and help counteract the urge to bail on the event, motivating you to walk through the door.

2. Come With Conversation Starters

Individuals with social anxiety often experience anxiety about starting and maintaining conversations at social events. To alleviate this concern, Dr. Saltz suggests preparing a few topics in advance that you feel comfortable discussing. These can range from recent movies you enjoyed to current events (excluding potentially divisive topics like politics, depending on the crowd).

To boost your confidence, consider practicing introductory lines in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend prior to the event. This rehearsal can help you feel more prepared and at ease when initiating conversations about your chosen topics. Additionally, when unsure about what to say, asking open-ended questions is an effective strategy as people generally enjoy talking about themselves. An excellent conversation starter is inquiring about how others know the host, as it can lead to further discussion and engagement.

By equipping yourself with conversation starters and actively engaging in dialogue, you can navigate social interactions more comfortably and reduce anxiety associated with initiating conversations at events.

3. Vow to Speak to Multiple New People

Dr. Saltz advises against solely relying on the one person you already know at a party to combat social anxiety. However, that doesn’t mean you have to approach every guest at the event. Instead, set a realistic goal for yourself, such as introducing yourself to and engaging in a five-minute conversation with three new people.

While three new individuals can be a suitable goal, it’s important to adjust it based on your level of social anxiety. If one new interaction feels more manageable, start with that. Setting a goal before attending the party provides you with a clear focus and a sense of accomplishment when you achieve it.

When choosing a goal, aim for something that pushes you slightly outside of your comfort zone but doesn’t overwhelm you. By initiating conversations and realizing that speaking to new people is often less challenging than anticipated, you gradually become desensitized to your social anxiety.

4. Don’t Drink Too Much

While it may be tempting for individuals with social anxiety to rely on alcohol to ease their anxiety at parties, it can have negative consequences. While a few drinks can initially help to alleviate anxiety and promote relaxation, it is essential to recognize the potential risks associated with excessive alcohol consumption.

Dr. Saltz emphasizes that relying on alcohol as a coping mechanism can lead to dependency and tolerance, requiring higher amounts to achieve the same anxiety-reducing effect. This can potentially develop into an alcohol problem, exacerbating the individual’s overall well-being.

In addition, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to uninhibited behavior, which may contribute to increased social anxiety in the long run. It is important to remember that alcohol-induced behavior does not accurately reflect one’s true self, and regret or embarrassment afterward can intensify social anxiety symptoms.

Moreover, it is worth noting that guests at parties often tend to avoid individuals who have consumed excessive amounts of alcohol. If people distance themselves, it is crucial to understand that it may be due to the alcohol’s impact rather than personal rejection, thereby preventing a worsening of social anxiety.

Rather than relying on alcohol, individuals with social anxiety can explore alternative strategies to manage their anxiety, such as engaging in deep breathing exercises, practicing mindfulness, or seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals. These approaches can help address the root causes of social anxiety and provide healthier and more sustainable coping mechanisms.

5. Wait for the Anxiety To Pass

Dr. Saltz’s advice to allow yourself to experience anxiety without judgment is important. It’s crucial to remember that feeling anxious is a normal human response and doesn’t indicate personal weakness or failure. Understanding that anxiety symptoms typically subside within a relatively short period can provide reassurance during moments of distress.

Instead of trying to suppress or fight against anxiety, it can be helpful to practice self-compassion and acceptance. Recognize that anxiety is a temporary experience and that it will naturally pass. Engaging in relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can further assist in managing anxiety during these moments.

When to seek help

It is important to seek professional help if you are experiencing significant distress or impairment in your daily life due to anxiety. Here are some indicators that it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional:

• Symptoms are persistent: If your anxiety symptoms are frequent, long-lasting, and interfere with your ability to function in various areas of your life, such as work, school, relationships, or daily activities, it may be a sign that professional help is needed.
  
• Impact on daily life: If your anxiety is causing significant distress, affecting your relationships, limiting your social interactions, or causing avoidance of important activities or events, seeking professional guidance can be beneficial.
  
• Impaired functioning: If you find that your anxiety is interfering with your ability to concentrate, make decisions, or perform tasks effectively, it may be time to seek help.
  
• Safety concerns: If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or have engaged in self-destructive behaviors as a result of anxiety, it is crucial to seek immediate professional help. Reach out to a mental health hotline, emergency services, or your healthcare provider.
  
• Lack of improvement: If you have been trying self-help strategies or making lifestyle changes to manage your anxiety, but you are not seeing significant improvement or your symptoms are worsening, it is advisable to consult a mental health professional.
  
• Co-occurring mental health conditions: If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety along with other mental health conditions such as depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or other related disorders, seeking professional help can provide a comprehensive assessment and treatment approach to address your specific needs.
  
• Recurring or prolonged episodes of intense anxiety: If you experience frequent or prolonged episodes of intense anxiety that significantly impact your ability to cope, it is important to consider seeking professional help. This can include panic attacks, overwhelming fear, or persistent worry that lasts for an extended period of time.

Remember, mental health professionals, such as psychologists, psychiatrists, or therapists, are trained to assess, diagnose, and treat anxiety disorders. They can provide appropriate interventions, including therapy, medication, or a combination of both, tailored to your specific needs. Seeking professional help is a proactive step toward managing and improving your mental well-being.