Similar to how viruses can be contagious, stress and anxiety can also be “caught” from others, according to Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Mirror neurons in our brain, which are activated when we observe others’ actions or experiences, may play a role in this phenomenon. This means that when we witness someone else’s stress or anxiety, we can internalize those feelings within ourselves.
Research has shown that stress contagion is a real phenomenon. A study published in Scientific Reports in 2017 demonstrated that watching anxious speakers led to an increase in heart rates among the viewers, indicating a physiological stress response. Additionally, individuals with higher levels of empathy tend to be more susceptible to absorbing others’ stress, although not necessarily to a greater extent than those with lower empathy.
While it’s natural to be affected by the stress and anxiety of others, it’s important to remember that you have the power to mitigate its impact on your well-being. By practicing certain strategies proactively, you can better navigate and cope with stressful situations. These strategies can include self-care practices such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, setting boundaries, and seeking support from trusted individuals.
By taking proactive steps to manage your own stress and anxiety, you can protect yourself from being overwhelmed by the emotions of others. Remember, you have the ability to maintain your own well-being even in the face of external stressors.
Make a Positive Pivot
When faced with a situation where your friends are discussing a topic, such as politics, that you would rather not dwell on and want to maintain a positive atmosphere, it can be helpful to validate their points while redirecting the conversation in a more uplifting direction. Jennifer L. Taitz, PsyD, suggests validating their concerns and then introducing a new topic that promotes gratitude and positivity.
For instance, you can acknowledge the challenging nature of the current political climate by saying something like, “I understand that these are tough times. Can we take a moment to share something that we’re grateful for?” By shifting the focus towards gratitude, you can set a more positive tone for the conversation. Remember, you have the ability to guide the direction of the discussion and contribute to a more uplifting and enjoyable atmosphere for everyone involved.
Label Your Emotions
Dr. Jennifer L. Taitz emphasizes the importance of labeling and acknowledging your emotions as a means of regulating them effectively. By giving a name to the specific emotions you are experiencing, you can gain a sense of control over them rather than feeling overwhelmed by their intensity.
For instance, if you recognize that you are feeling anxious because your friend Maggie is stressed about her job, and this triggers concerns about your own job security, acknowledging these feelings can be empowering. By confronting and identifying the underlying reasons for your agitation, you can begin to address and manage them more effectively.
This process of emotional labeling allows you to gain insight into the sources of your distress and take appropriate steps to address and navigate through them. It helps to create a greater sense of self-awareness and empowers you to actively engage with your emotions rather than being consumed by them.
Mentally Remove Yourself From the Situation
Dr. Carla Marie Manly suggests employing a visualization technique where you imagine yourself detaching from the situation and adopting the perspective of an impartial observer, such as a researcher or photographer. By doing so, you create psychological distance and release any judgment or emotional entanglement.
As you visualize this detachment, it is beneficial to practice deep and focused breathing. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of relaxation and calmness. This physiological response can further support your emotional detachment and help alleviate any stress or anxiety you may be experiencing.
By mentally and emotionally distancing yourself from the stress of others, you recognize that you have the power to choose your level of involvement and not be overwhelmed by their emotions. This technique allows you to maintain your own sense of peace and well-being while still empathizing and supporting others from a healthier and more balanced standpoint.
Take Action
When you feel anxiety rising within you, it can be helpful to assess whether there is any action you can take to address the issue causing the anxiety. If you determine that there is nothing you can do to change the situation, take a deep breath and visualize releasing it as you exhale slowly. This process allows you to let go of the worry and tension associated with the situation.
However, if you realize that there are steps you can take to address the issue, it is important to take action. Even small actions can make a difference. For instance, if consuming too much news exacerbates your uneasiness, you can take a proactive step like disabling news alerts on your phone or setting limits on your social media usage. By taking these actions, you signal to your body and mind that you are actively addressing the situation, which can provide a sense of empowerment and relief.
Remember, whether you can directly change the situation or take steps to manage your response to it, every action, no matter how small, can contribute to a positive shift and help alleviate anxiety.
Deflect Their Anxiety
When a friend is going through a tough time, it’s natural to want to help them. However, sometimes the best way to support someone is to offer them a distraction. Plan an activity together that will take their mind off of their problems. This could be anything from going for a walk to playing a game. Doing something together will help them to feel less alone and give them a chance to relax and recharge.
Here are some specific examples of activities that you could do with your friend:
- Go for a walk or hike
- Play a game of cards or board games
- Watch a movie or TV show
- Go to a museum or art gallery
- Cook dinner together
- Go to a fitness class
- Go out for coffee or tea
It’s important to choose an activity that your friend will enjoy and that will help them to relax. Avoid activities that will only make them feel worse, such as watching sad movies or talking about their problems for hours on end.
Co-ruminating, or dwelling on problems together, can actually make both people feel worse. Instead, focus on doing something enjoyable together that will help your friend to feel better.
Reframe Anxiety as a Good Thing
Research shows that people who view stress as a helpful, energizing force feel better emotionally and physically. This is because they are able to channel their anxiety into productive action.
When you feel yourself getting worked up, your initial reaction may be, “Uh oh, this is bad.” However, you can reframe your anxiety as excitement. Tell yourself that you are psyching yourself up to do something great. This will help you to stay motivated and focused.
Here are some tips for reframing your anxiety as excitement:
- Acknowledge your anxiety: Don’t try to suppress it or pretend that it’s not there. Instead, accept that you’re feeling anxious and allow yourself to feel it.
- Find the positive side of your anxiety: What is your anxiety trying to tell you? Is it telling you that you care about something? Is it telling you that you’re ready to take on a challenge?
- Use your anxiety to motivate you: Think about what you want to achieve and use your anxiety to fuel your determination.
- Take action: The best way to overcome anxiety is to take action. When you take action, you’re showing yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way.
Make Meditation a Daily Routine
Meditation is a great way to quiet your mind and boost your emotional intelligence. It can help you to become more self-aware, self-controlled, and accepting of others. Mindful people are less susceptible to the stress of others.
Meditation can be done anywhere, but first thing in the morning or right before bed are prime times to squeeze in a session. Even one minute of meditation is infinitely more effective than zero. It’s more about practicing—and reminding yourself and your body to relax—than it is to meditate for a long time.
Here are some tips for meditating:
- Find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
- Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight.
- Close your eyes and focus on your breath.
- Notice the sensations of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
- If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.
- Continue for as long as you like.
Meditation is a skill that takes practice. The more you meditate, the better you’ll become at it. And the benefits of meditation will only grow over time.
Move Your Muscles
When you’re stressed, your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. This is a natural response that helps you to deal with danger. However, chronic stress can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health.
One way to manage stress is to get regular exercise. Exercise helps to reduce the levels of stress hormones in your body, such as cortisol. It also improves your mood and sleep quality, and it can boost your self-esteem.
Any type of exercise can help to reduce stress, but some activities are better than others. Cardio exercises, such as running, swimming, and biking, are especially effective at reducing stress. Yoga and tai chi are also good choices, as they combine physical activity with mindfulness.
If you’re not used to exercising, start slowly. Even a short walk or bike ride can make a difference. As you get fitter, you can gradually increase the intensity and duration of your workouts.
The important thing is to find an activity that you enjoy. If you’re not enjoying yourself, you’re less likely to stick with it. So find something that you find fun and challenging, and make it a part of your regular routine.
Practice Strategies When Calm
When you feel like you don’t have total control over a stressful situation, remember that you have control over the tools you use to prevent anxiety overload. Practice these strategies when you’re not in a stressful situation. This way, when those stressful situations do arise, you’ll be able to more quickly deflect other people’s anxiety instead of taking it on as your own.