Oregon Beat Colorado So Bad That Shilo Sanders Pissed Blood and Checked Himself Into The Hospital

NY Post – Shilo Sanders’ bad time on Saturday extended far beyond Colorado’s blowout loss to Oregon.

The Buffaloes safety and son of head coach Deion Sanders was hospitalized after the game with undisclosed but painful-sounding injuries.

“I can’t say I didn’t play hard, I’m peeing blood right now,” Shilo told YouTube outlet Well Off Media as he was exiting the team’s charter plane Saturday night.

Asked if he was OK, the defensive back said, “Nah, I made a tackle and I landed on my kidney or something bro, so I gotta go to the ER and get checked.”

Colorado got the bloody piss beat out of them, folks. Football is a dangerous game, even when you don’t put the world’s biggest target on your back right before you go up against a gauntlet of teams that are all significantly bigger, faster, stronger, and better than you are. Just look at the NFL. All of the good players are dead. The amount of season ending injuries that have already occurred through 3 weeks is astonishing. And none of those players have a coach with a self-appointed nickname, a cowboy hat and his own brand of flashy sunglasses bigger than his face. At least not that I’m aware. Unfortunately for the Colorado Buffaloes, they have plenty of that.

Not that it’s a bad thing. The attention if great. Everything Deion Sanders is doing for his team is genuinely awesome. However, one drawback of being the most hyped team in college football without necessarily having the talent to back it up is that when you play the best teams in the country, they’re going to come at you with the same amount of force as if they were playing the 2001 Miami Hurricanes. 

That’s how you end up losing by 5+ touchdowns and spending a night in the hospital with blood coming out of you dick. The worst part of peeing blood is that you can’t really brag about it, or spin zone it in way that makes you look cool. It’s not like you have a cool scar that everyone can see. You’re not heroically shaving 10 years off your life by playing through a concussion. It’s not as badass as Terrell Owens playing in the Super Bowl on one leg. 

Or even the time RGIII played in that playoff game and tore a new ACL every time he dropped back to pass.

Maybe that’s a little unfair to Shilo. Playing through a dick injury is a nothing to scoff at. It’s definitely a tough thing to do. But every time people look at you they just think about blood coming out of your dick. That’s a little unsettling

But give Shilo credit. Colorado’s defense getting beat to a pulp didn’t stop the Prime family from posting a sick highlight reel.

He actually laid a handful of solid hits. I suppose it would have been pretty sick had he laid a hit, stood over the player, whipped his dick out and pissed bl… never mind. 

Never back down, never surrender, etc. He’s going to play again this weekend no matter what’s coming out of his penis Saturday morning. Blood, puss, tape worm, a never ending chain of colorful scarves all tied together like a magician.

For those keeping score this is the second blog in a row I’ve made a magician’s scarves joke. But it is, is doesn’t matter. Colorado has a game this weekend and Shilo will be out there playing through the pain. However, that doesn’t change the fact that Oregon beat him so bad he pissed blood. Oregon will always have that on him. We’ll see if Shilo can keep all his blood in his body against USC.