7 ‘Therapy Speak’ Terms People Get Wrong, According to Psychologists

In recent years, a notable shift has occurred in the realm of mental health conversations, extending beyond clinical settings into everyday dialogues among friends, family members, and even coworkers. This transformation has brought forth a surge in the use of terms and phrases traditionally confined to the offices of psychiatrists and psychologists, collectively referred to as “therapy speak.” This phenomenon has been significantly amplified by the proliferation of social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, which have become forums for open discussions about mental health.

While the adoption of therapy speak in mainstream conversations represents a positive step forward in destigmatizing mental health issues, it also presents challenges. The eagerness of individuals to embrace these concepts and terminologies reflects a growing awareness and willingness to engage with mental health topics. However, it has become evident that many individuals are employing these terms incorrectly, leading to potential consequences for communication and interpersonal dynamics.

Navigating the Positive and Negative Aspects of “Therapy Speak”

The emergence of therapy speak outside clinical contexts can be viewed through a dual lens, with both positive and negative implications.

On the positive side, the widespread use of these terms indicates a heightened interest in mental health and a genuine desire to understand complex psychological concepts. People’s willingness to engage with these ideas, even independently, reflects a broader societal shift towards prioritizing mental well-being. This shift is particularly noteworthy, given the challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, which has prompted increased introspection and self-awareness.

Susan Albers-Bowling, PsyD, a psychologist at Cleveland Clinic, highlights the encouraging aspect of this phenomenon, emphasizing that it reveals a hunger for knowledge and self-improvement. People have taken the initiative to explore these concepts independently, indicating a proactive approach to their mental health.

However, the downside to the proliferation of therapy speak lies in its potential for misuse and misinterpretation. Individuals who use these intricate and nuanced terms without a deep understanding of their implications can inadvertently create communication breakdowns. This misuse may stem from a lack of awareness or a desire to deflect personal responsibility during conflicts or disagreements.

Common “Therapy Speak” Phrases Used Incorrectly

Several key phrases within the realm of therapy speak are frequently misused or employed out of context. These instances can range from innocent misunderstandings to more deliberate manipulations of language. To foster a better understanding of the potential pitfalls associated with this trend, experts have identified some common phrases that are often used incorrectly:

1. Gaslighting: Originally referring to a specific form of psychological manipulation, gaslighting has been increasingly misused to deflect accountability in disputes. Rather than acknowledging their role in a disagreement, some individuals wrongfully label it as gaslighting, thus avoiding self-reflection.

2. Narcissism: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinically recognized diagnosis characterized by specific traits, including a need for admiration and a lack of empathy. However, many people now loosely apply the term “narcissist” to describe anyone displaying rude behavior without grasping the extensive and enduring pattern inherent to NPD.

3. Boundaries: While setting boundaries is a healthy interpersonal skill, it can backfire when individuals solely consider their own desires and needs, leading to a display of self-centeredness. Healthy boundaries should involve mutual consideration and communication.

4. Trauma: The increased focus on trauma in recent years has led some individuals to label normal life experiences as traumatic. Mislabeling these ordinary experiences as traumatic can hinder the processing of genuine traumatic events.

5. Attachment Styles: Attachment theory posits that early childhood attachment to primary caregivers can impact adult relationships. While understanding one’s attachment style can be insightful, it should not serve as a justification for certain behaviors. Some individuals misuse their attachment style as an excuse for their actions.

6. OCD: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a clinical condition characterized by uncontrollable recurring thoughts and behaviors. However, many people inaccurately use the term “OCD” to describe isolated behaviors without a formal diagnosis, potentially stigmatizing those with the disorder.

7. Self-care: Self-care is a fundamental concept encompassing basic needs like sleep and hydration. However, it is sometimes associated with socioeconomic privilege, leading to misconceptions about its essence and purpose.

Navigating “Therapy Speak” in Conversations

While individuals may not necessarily intend harm when using therapy speak, clarifying these terms in conversations is essential for effective communication. To promote clarity and understanding, it may be necessary to inquire about the intended meaning of these phrases when encountered in dialogue. Some potential questions for clarification include:

• “How would you define what a narcissist is?”
• “What do you mean by ‘attachment style’?”
• “Could you explain your understanding of gaslighting in this context?”

These questions help bridge the gap between different interpretations and ensure that discussions are based on shared meanings. Mental health experts routinely employ such clarification techniques during therapy sessions to facilitate productive and meaningful conversations.

In conclusion, the widespread adoption of therapy speak in everyday conversations reflects a positive shift towards acknowledging and addressing mental health issues. While this trend signifies a greater willingness to engage with complex psychological concepts, it also underscores the importance of using these terms accurately and thoughtfully. By promoting clear communication and fostering a deeper understanding of these concepts, individuals can navigate therapy speak in a way that promotes mental well-being and interpersonal growth.