The first step: Remember that it isn’t selfish to look after yourself.
Last spring, my body sent out distress signals that I couldn’t ignore. I was out of sorts, not behaving like my usual self. In a moment of sheer overwhelm, I found myself smashing a casserole dish onto my kitchen floor. That was my wake-up call. It was crystal clear that I needed to slow down, reassess my life, and make some vital changes. I decided to embark on a journey towards better health and well-being, setting a series of personal goals: reducing my soda intake, rekindling my running routine, and ensuring I consistently got seven hours of sleep each night. Most importantly, I was determined to unravel the mystery of a persistent bladder infection that had haunted me for the past six months.
Despite trying various antibiotics, none had provided relief. Frustrated and concerned, I scheduled an appointment with a specialist—a skilled urologist. What she uncovered was astonishing: I had a massive kidney stone lurking within me. She emphasized that if left untreated, it could have posed a life-threatening risk. At that moment, the gravity of the situation hit me hard: I could have lost my life.
Let me be unequivocal about this—I have every intention of remaining on this earth for an extended, fulfilling existence. I am committed to witnessing my children’s growth and achieving my dreams, including writing more books. The health scare I experienced served as a stark reminder: To secure my future, I must prioritize self-care, cherishing my well-being with the same dedication I reserve for my loved ones.
In the months following that wake-up call, I have undergone a profound transformation. I find my thoughts clearer, my capacity to handle frustration heightened, and my nights are peaceful and restful—all attributed to subtle shifts in my perspective and daily routines. Here, I share six self-care principles that have worked wonders for me, hoping they can inspire and guide you on your own journey to nurturing your well-being.
1. Acknowledge Yourself: Embrace the Notion of Self-Care
The initial step towards self-care is a mindset shift. Recognize that tending to your own needs is far from selfish; it is a fundamental component of your happiness and overall well-being. You, too, have limits, and respecting them is pivotal for maintaining your health. You have desires, deserving of love, rest, nourishment, and kindness, just like anyone else. You harbor dreams that warrant the time and effort needed to bring them to fruition. The foundation of self-care lies in acknowledging your intrinsic worth and valuing it as much as you value the worth of others.
2. Gift Yourself: Prioritize Small Acts of Self-Kindness
When was the last time you consciously gifted yourself something meaningful? Each week, set aside a moment to bestow a precious gift upon yourself. It could be a vibrant water bottle, encouraging you to hydrate properly, or a beautifully crafted journal in which you can record your dreams and reflections. Alternatively, grant yourself an extra hour of sleep, a rejuvenating exercise session, or an opportunity for creative self-expression. Even if all else fails, take a moment to offer yourself a gift—whether it’s a moment of self-compassion, forgiveness, or acceptance. We all need these moments of grace, and granting them to ourselves is an act of self-care.
3. Restore Yourself: Rediscover Simple Pleasures
Reflect on your childhood and recollect the simple pleasures that brought you joy. Was it the scent of a newly opened library book, the soothing chirping of crickets on a balmy night, the gentle strumming of a guitar, or the sensation of walking barefoot through the cool grass? Endeavor to recreate these experiences of pure delight in your life today. In revisiting these moments, you can rediscover a source of happiness and contentment.
4. Speak Up for Yourself: Seek Support and Connection
Select a trusted confidant and summon the courage to voice what you may have long kept concealed: “I need assistance.” “I am grappling with fear.” “I haven’t felt like my true self for quite some time.” There is an inexplicable power in verbalizing your burdens—it lightens their weight and can lead to a profound sense of relief. Extend those close to you an opportunity to offer their support, for the bonds of connection can be remarkably therapeutic.
5. Take the Pressure off Yourself: Embrace Realistic Expectations
Examine the expectations you impose upon yourself. What judgments do you pass regarding your parenting abilities, your physical appearance, or the length of your to-do list? Challenge yourself to set more attainable standards, lowering the bar and releasing the grip of the word “should” from your vocabulary. At day’s end, as you rest your head upon your pillow, ask yourself a single question: “Did I show up?” If your answer is affirmative, acknowledge that it is not only sufficient but more than enough.
6. Notice the Good in Yourself: Practice Self-Appreciation
Allocate a moment to commemorate the formidable challenges you have conquered and the invaluable lessons you have gleaned from life’s trials. Reflect upon how far you have journeyed. Then, attempt to perceive yourself through the eyes of those who cherish you. Their gaze does not fixate upon your imperfections, missteps, or failures. Instead, they witness love—an unwavering, boundless love. Endeavor to see yourself through that lens of compassion and admiration.
In conclusion, self-care is the cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling life. It requires a conscious shift in mindset and a commitment to nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. By acknowledging yourself, gifting yourself moments of kindness, restoring simple pleasures, seeking support, setting realistic expectations, and practicing self-appreciation, you pave the way towards a life that is not only longer but also richer, more meaningful, and profoundly cherished. Remember, your self-care is not a luxury but a lifeline to a future brimming with vitality and fulfillment.