Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix

TV Series Review

Dolph Laserhawk isn’t exactly what you would call a “stand-up guy.” It’s not that he’s evil, per se, just that he’s ruled by his own selfish ambitions.

He nearly died once but was saved by Eden, the corrupt technocracy that replaced the United States. Eden’s scientists implanted Dolph with about a billion credits’ worth of cybernetics, turning him into a super soldier.

But then Dolph began working for Marcus Holloway, leader of the resistance against Eden and public enemy No. 1.

It’s not that Dolph didn’t appreciate all those cybernetics. But He grew to have a pretty big issue with Eden itself. You see, Eden’s goal was to eliminate crime, poverty and war, which sounds nice. They implemented the UBI (Universal Basic Income), which grants citizens a stipend for obeying the law, which is fine. But those laws can be a bit overbearing.

You can work, but only if it’s for Eden. You can eat, but only if it’s the food Eden provided. You can even watch TV, but Eden regulates the programming and sometimes even requires viewership (with a hefty fine if you fail to watch).

All Dolph wanted to do was leave Eden forever with his boyfriend, Alex Taylor. Working for Marcus seemed like a strong step in that direction. But when Alex betrayed him, Dolph found himself working for Eden once again in a sort of Suicide Squad called the Ghosts.

He and the other ghosts (so called because they “don’t exist” anymore by Eden’s standards) have only one option: submit and obey. Because if they don’t, they won’t just get thrown back in prison, like Eden’s other criminals. They’ll get their heads blown off thanks to explosives embedded in their skulls. And nobody will know or care since Eden has already erased them from the system.

Dolph doesn’t care if he dies. But he does want revenge against Alex, who’s taken it upon himself to start up a new rebel movement. And the only way Dolph will get the chance for that revenge is if he cooperates with Eden and the very people who led him down this dark path to begin with.

Far Cry from Civility

Netflix’s TV-MA rated Captain Laserhawk is rife with issues. The good guys often do bad things; the bad guys sometimes do good things. Corruption poisons the idealist society that Eden’s leaders had hoped to create. And the fun, ‘90s video game style implemented throughout the show does little to alleviate the massive problems of this Far Cry spinoff.

Characters lose lives and limbs (with gory effect). Just about every sentence includes one obscenity or another. Graphic animated nudity makes an appearance, as do many sexual acts (which often involve LGBT characters). And these gratuitous problems tend to divert viewers from the actual storyline.

All in all, Captain Laserhawk is a far cry from anything that you or your family should be watching on television.