Outrage over babysitting sister-in-law’s “remedy” for child’s ear infection

A babysitting sister-in-law has sparked fury online after it was revealed that she had used her own “bodily fluids” to treat her niece’s ear infection.

In a furious post shared to Reddit under the handle u/SILbabysit, the seven-year-old’s unhappy mom said that her husband’s sister would “no longer be able to babysit” their daughter Rose or be around her “unsupervised.”

The decision came after her sister-in-law, who is a new mom herself, decided to try out her own homemade “remedy” to treat Rose’s ear infections—breastmilk.

It’s a move that has left her at risk of becoming estranged from her brother’s family, yet many on Reddit felt she only had herself to blame.

Sadly, estrangement is an all-too-common situation for families in America. In 2022, a poll of 11,039 U.S. adults conducted by YouGov found that more than one in four Americans are estranged from a sibling, parent, child, or grandparent.

Every family is different and every estrangement is likely to be the result of a unique set of circumstances but few, if any, are likely to be the result of breastmilk.

Yet that’s precisely the situation this family finds themselves in. It all started when Rose became unwell with a double ear infection on a school day. “I had to go to work and couldn’t get a babysitter so my sister-in-law offered to keep her for me,” Rose’s mom explained on Reddit.

“Everything seemed to go well until I picked Rose up and my sister-in-law told me she had put breast milk in Rose’s ears to help with the ear infection.”

The sister-in-law, who has a 12-week-old baby, even offered to send Rose’s mom a dropper bottle of her breast milk to continue the treatment. “She claims it’s a great remedy and that Rose was already starting to feel better,” the mom wrote.

It was a move that left the Redditor furious. “I couldn’t believe that she did this to my child without asking,” she wrote. An argument ensued, in front of Rose, with the mom deciding to ban her sister-in-law from babysitting or being around Rose on her own.

“Now Rose is upset that she can’t go to her aunt’s house anymore and my brother called me to say that I upset his wife, she was just trying to help, and that I overreacted,” the mom wrote.

Despite this blowback, the mom felt she had done the right thing. “This is a woman putting her bodily fluids in my child’s ear. I think I have a right to be upset,” she said.

Commenting on the situation, Ranesha Especto, a licensed professional counselor who specializes in family conflicts, anxiety and stress with Thriveworks, a nationwide provider of online and in-person therapy services, told Newsweek it is important for parents to “set boundaries with loved ones at the very beginning to determine how you want things to be done.”

In this instance, Especto felt both the mom and sister-in-law had played a part in creating the conflict. “The entire situation could have been avoided with effective communication,” she said. “The sister-in-law should have called or gotten permission from the mom to try the remedy, not everyone is comfortable with trying holistic remedies and that is okay.”

But while Especto acknowledged that a line was “definitely crossed,” she also felt the mom could have handled the situation better. “Arguing or exchanging words in front of children is never OK,” she said. “Not only does it cause anxiety and stress but the children don’t have a full understanding of what is happening.”

She called on both parties to come together and have a conversation “to voice how they truly feel and discuss what things will have to look like in the future.”

“Saying the mom went too far isn’t my call simply because it’s her child,” Especto added. “What should be looked at is how this will affect the child in the long run. If the sister-in-law is someone the child loves, the mom may need to look at different solutions, rather than banning her from watching the child in the future.”

The response on Reddit was significantly different though, with many expressing similar anger at the sister-in-law’s actions.

One user wrote: “Babysitters shouldn’t be giving any medicine or home remedies without permission. No matter how normal and fine people apparently think it is.”

Another agreed, commenting: “No one should be taking it upon themselves to treat someone else’s kid with anything, especially with another person’s bodily fluids, until the child’s own pediatrician has recommended it and the parent approved it.”

A third added: “she seriously overstepped. Doing nothing was the best course of action.”

Newsweek has contacted u/SILbabysit for comment. We could not verify the details of the situation.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.