Before I Got an Anxiety Diagnosis Doctors Thought I Had MS, Chronic Fatigue, and a Heart Condition

I can vividly recall the exact moment when anxiety became a significant issue for me. It happened during a seemingly ordinary day in December when I was a college student registering for my upcoming semester’s classes. Back in those days, before the Internet was widely available, I had to physically go to a campus building’s basement to choose my courses. I remember feeling fine as I examined sheets of paper taped to a cinder block wall. I was a bit tired from late-night studying, and the weather was turning colder, but overall, I was doing okay. Then, in an instant, everything changed.

My heart started racing uncontrollably, sweat broke out on my skin, and my breathing became rapid, making it difficult to catch my breath. Suddenly, the words on the wall in front of me appeared distorted, and gray blotches obstructed my vision. I was seized by an overwhelming terror, convinced that something was seriously wrong with my body and that I was on the verge of dying. Looking back, I now understand that I was experiencing a panic attack.

What are Panic Attacks

As per the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, panic attacks typically reach their peak intensity within about 10 minutes after they begin. However, my initial panic attack experience was followed by an entire month of persistent fear and anxiety. The racing heart, the difficulty breathing—it felt like a constant state of terror that left me immobilized and confined to my parents’ sofa for a prolonged period.

Eventually, my parents took me to see a doctor who conducted various tests including blood tests and an electrocardiogram (EKG) to assess the electrical activity of my heart and rule out any heart conditions. The diagnosis I received was mitral valve prolapse, a generally benign anomaly of the heart valve. With that explanation, the medical exploration came to a halt.

I managed to return to school for the new term but my journey was far from over. Throughout the year, I embarked on a medical odyssey, desperately seeking answers to understand what was happening to me. While things somewhat improved—I was able to take a few classes and gradually emerged from the confines of the sofa—I remained significantly impaired.

Fear became my baseline, constantly permeating my existence, and it drained me of energy. The state of being in constant high alert was mentally and physically exhausting.

Visiting Specialists

During my journey to find answers, my mom accompanied me to numerous specialists as we sought help for my anxiety, which seemed to affect my entire body. I underwent evaluations from cardiologists to examine my heart and neurologists to scan my brain. Doctors offered various speculations about the potential causes of my symptoms, including multiple sclerosis, Epstein-Barr virus, or myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), but no definitive diagnoses were given. Each time I experienced a severe panic attack, it would lead me to the emergency room, only to leave without any clarity.

As a year passed, my desperation grew. I could no longer fathom living with the debilitating symptoms or envision how doctors could provide the help I desperately needed. After yet another visit to a neurologist, who referred me to a psychiatrist, I reached my breaking point. Determined to find a solution, I expressed my frustration to the psychiatrist and made it clear that I could not continue living in such a state. She presented me with two options: prescribing Prozac, an antidepressant that had been on the market for three years, or referring me to the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at the University of Michigan hospital. It was during this encounter that anxiety was first mentioned as a possible explanation. Finally, I received the proper diagnosis for my condition.

Gaining an Understanding of Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Finally understanding that my symptoms were actually panic attacks and not signs of imminent danger or mental illness was a significant breakthrough. The realization that panic attacks were a malfunctioning response of my body’s threat system provided a sense of relief—I wasn’t dying or losing my sanity, which were my greatest fears.

Prior to my diagnosis, I harbored concerns that my symptoms might be the beginning of a psychotic episode, influenced by my grandmother’s mental illness and her time in a psychiatric facility. However, I learned that anxiety does not lead to psychosis, dispelling the notion that my condition would inevitably escalate to the point of requiring inpatient care.

The prolonged journey to obtain an accurate diagnosis led me to develop avoidance behaviors, which is a common response among individuals with untreated anxiety disorders. My brain formed associations between panic attacks and the specific places and circumstances in which they occurred, causing me to avoid those situations that others would perceive as safe.

For example, if I experienced a panic attack while standing in line at a coffee shop, my brain would associate panic with that specific setting, leading me to avoid coffee shops altogether. Gradually, my world became smaller as I avoided standing in lines, attending football games, and going to the movies. Looking back, if I had been diagnosed and treated earlier, I believe much of the suffering caused by these situations could have been prevented.

Beginning Therapy

Despite my initial resistance to medication, I decided to pursue cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a means of treating my anxiety disorder. With the guidance of my therapist, I engaged in CBT, which proved to be effective in improving my condition over time.

As part of CBT, I underwent exposure therapy, which involved gradually confronting the situations I feared the most. One of my biggest fears was an accelerated heart rate, so my therapist encouraged me to run up flights of stairs, challenging me to embrace and welcome that sensation rather than succumbing to fear. This process aimed to demonstrate that the feared outcome—such as death resulting from a racing heart—was unlikely to occur. Through repeated exposure and practice, my logical belief in this reassurance became stronger and more resilient.

I underwent exposure therapy for each specific situation that evoked anxiety and prompted avoidance behaviors. It was certainly a challenging and uncomfortable process, but ultimately, it proved effective in helping me overcome my fears and regain control over my life.